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Exhausted

from H4 by Hertless

/

lyrics

A latent creeping nervousness 
Justifying my end each and every night
Scaring myself into believing otherwise
Yet a persistent allure taunts me

Freeing myself of all of life's pain
I see a failure of a son, a brother, to mother, to father
I can't complete myself 
I do not live for me
And yet still I will continue

And what if it was all for nothing? 
Every feeble attempt, worthless
Consumed by my own inaction
If recovery was always meant to be this hard, why should I bother?
Thrashing out every single night
Drained by a clouded soul

It feels as if it was never going to make a difference, no matter how hard I try
So instinctively involved
Every fibre of my being reaches out, looking for a reason to stay here
Why should it be so hard? Why should I want to stay?
Something that comes so naturally to everyone else I meet
It was never meant to be like this 
Is there even any other alternative? Is it not just stuck like this?

It feels as if I was never going to make a difference
Failed at every step, every type of hindrance 
There was never any alternative, damned to kick and scream with every stride
A hopeless dance, I've lost my heart
Please, just let me flourish
Feel free for once 

It's always felt as if I was never going to make a difference
That my path was pre-determined, a bedside beset with regrets

credits

from H4, track released March 5, 2021
Written by John-Stuart Gonsales & Fergus Soulsby
All instruments, vocals and production by John-Stuart Gonsales
Logo by Emily Gonsales

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about

Hertless Scotland, UK

Solo Depressive Suicidal Black Metal from Scotland.

Hertless was formed in January of 2017.

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